We finally get to shop at the toy store of Elisa’s dreams, TOY FEDERATION! The market is pretty wild on toys as well as video games, but you won’t believe how expensive toy CLOTHES are! Come toy hunt with us, even though it’s not video game hunting. We appreciate you watching!

Top 10 Things Collectors Buy:

1. Action Figures (a.k.a. “Forever in the Package Prisoners”)
   Collectors buy plastic superheroes not to play with, but to lovingly stare at through the blister packaging like they’re priceless relics from a lost civilization. Open one? You might as well commit a felony.

2. Coins (aka “Metal That Won’t Buy Anything”)
   There’s nothing like spending hundreds of dollars on coins that can’t even pay for a coffee. But hey, that 1909 wheat penny might be worth $1.07 someday. Maybe.

3. Comic Books (a.k.a. “Paper Fortunes”)
   Collectors will handle a mint-condition comic with the same care as an organ transplant. Reading it? Absolutely not. That’s what the reprints are for, you animal.

4. Shoes (a.k.a. “Closet Royalty”)
   Who knew sneakers could cost more than a semester at college? Collectors will never wear them, of course. That would scuff the sacred rubber. Just look, admire, sniff… maybe cry.

5. Vinyl Records (a.k.a. “Round Black Nostalgia Frisbees”)
   Collectors will insist music sounds better on vinyl, even if their turntable is plugged into a Bluetooth speaker shaped like a cactus. It’s not about the sound—it’s about the vibe. And shelf space.

6. Stamps (a.k.a. “Tiny Square Regrets from the Past”)
   The world’s quietest flex. Nothing says “I’m both refined and slightly unhinged” like a binder full of microscopic portraits of Queen Elizabeth from 1963.

7. Video Games (a.k.a. “Digital Hoarding, But Fancy”)
   Unopened NES games, sealed in plastic, encased in acrylic, stored in a vault… because nothing enhances the gaming experience like never actually playing them.

8. Vintage Toys (a.k.a. “Childhood Memories, Marked Up 500%”)
   That $3 My Little Pony from 1987 is now worth $800, and yes, collectors will judge you if it has “hair frizz.” Nostalgia has a price, and it’s apparently ridiculous.

9. Baseball Cards (a.k.a. “Cardboard Lottery Tickets”)
   Collectors still pray to the gods of Topps and Upper Deck, hoping one day their garage full of mustachioed shortstops from 1989 will finally become worth enough to retire.

10. Cars (a.k.a. “Garage Queens”)
    Classic car collectors are a special breed: they spend six figures on a vehicle, then treat it like an art exhibit. “Don’t touch the paint. Don’t drive it. Just bask in its chrome glory.” They’ve driven it exactly once—onto the trailer.

Collecting: because adulthood needs hobbies, and hoarding needs better branding.