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There are people I decidedly despise. They lack morals, character, and honesty. They regulate antagonism. In case you can’t tell, I’m talking about Metal Jesus here. As I elaborate on that concept throughout this letter I will use only simple words and language so that even a child can understand my message. Yes, even a child should know that honest people will admit that Metal Jesus spews lies as easily as a squid squirts ink. Concerned people are not afraid to build bridges instead of walls. And sensible people know that Metal Jesus’s offensive subalterns accept on faith that Metal Jesus has an absolute right to be intolerant in the name of tolerance. You may have detected a hint of sarcasm in the way I phrased that last statement, but I assure you that I am not exaggerating the situation.

Metal Jesus’s belief is that he should be free to suppress our freedom. Hey, Metal Jesus! Satan just called; he wants his worldview back.

Essentially, in the midst of our mighty struggle to beat Metal Jesus at his own game, I have seen too many people stand on the sidelines and mouth pious irrelevancies and sanctimonious trivialities. I have watched too many people accept without challenge Metal Jesus’s ill-tempered claim that the sun rises just for him. And I have observed too many people fail to realize that the irony is that Metal Jesus’s most spleeny demands are also his most loopy. As the French say, “Les extremes se touchent.” I have always assumed that what we are dealing with here is fashion, politics, and money, but the fact of the matter is that you may find it instructive to contrast the things I like with the things that he likes. I like listening to music. Metal Jesus likes violating strongly held principles regarding deferral of current satisfaction for long-term gains. I like kittens and puppies. Metal Jesus likes reopening wounds that seem scarcely healed. I like spending time with friends. Metal Jesus likes threatening anyone who’s bold enough to state that he has once again been pigeonholing people into predetermined categories. Although for him, this behavior is as common as that of adulterous politicians seeking forgiveness from God and spouse, he does not merely send children to die as martyrs for causes that he is unwilling to die for himself. He does so consciously, deliberately, willfully, and methodically. That’s all I have to say about Metal Jesus so I guess I’ll stop writing now. Oh, and Metal Jesus: Before you start formulating a smart reply, don’t bother because I’m just not interested.