Ah yes, Twisted Metal — the video game series that asked the all-important question:
“What if Mario Kart had a midlife crisis, bought a flamethrower, and started listening to Nine Inch Nails?”
🚗💥 What is Twisted Metal?
Imagine a demolition derby, except every car has rockets, machine guns, and deep emotional trauma. It’s vehicular combat meets psychological horror meets…a 14-year-old’s sketchbook full of fire and skulls. You don’t just race to win — you blow up an ice cream truck driven by a flaming clown while dodging missiles fired from a haunted hearse.
So… Tuesday in the ’90s, basically.
🧠 The Premise (yes, there’s lore)
Twisted Metal revolves around a tournament run by Calypso, a mysterious cryptkeeper-meets-used-car-salesman who grants one wish to the last vehicle standing. Sounds cool, right? Plot twist: he’s a genie with a legal team. Your wish always comes true, but in the most ironic, monkey’s-paw way possible.
You ask for eternal life? He buries you alive.
You wish to be famous? Boom — you’re wanted in every country.
You ask for peace on Earth? Everyone else dies.
Classic Calypso!
🎮 The Gameplay
Pick a car, get a weapon, and start wrecking people. Your opponents include:
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A killer clown named Sweet Tooth, driving a flaming ice cream truck (soothing!).
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Mr. Grimm, a literal death biker with a scythe and no chill.
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Axel, a man fused between two giant wheels because apparently walking was too mainstream.
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And other emotionally unavailable vehicles with serious firepower and even deeper issues.
Levels take place in beloved landmarks like Paris, LA, and the apocalypse. The controls are tight, the explosions satisfying, and the soundtrack pure early-2000s rage.
📉 What happened to it?
Like a rock band that peaked at Ozzfest 2001, Twisted Metal had its glory days on the PS1 and PS2, then sort of… spun out. There was a reboot on PS3, and now there’s a Peacock TV show, which somehow exists and stars Anthony Mackieand Will Arnett as a clown. It’s both baffling and completely on-brand.
